..... I want Candy

Dear Candy,

I knew a guy who's tough but sweet.....
he's so fine he can't be beat.

He's got everything that i desire
Sets the summer sun on fire

i want candy

go to sea when the sun goes down
ain't no finer boy in town

 you're my guy, you're what the doctor ordered....
ur
so sweet!,
 u make my mouth water...

I want Candy

Candy on the beach....there's nothing better,
but..I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater...
someday soon,
i'll make u mine
then i'll have candy all the time....


I want Candy

     Bow
Wow Wow

Goodnight Mr. Jobs and God Bless

Initially I wanted to write about my explicit exploits after watching some pretty epic South Park last night but I can't until I get this moment cleared.

I have loved Apple products from the moment I saw the first monitor as a child. When I was told an apple a day keeps the doctor away I tore into apples and ate my veggies because I was never too keen on doctors from my inception. Seeing a computer with a Macintosh as mascot or logo was a pivotal moment for me and I knew that life was responding to me and blessing me at every turn. Then almost as soon as I met my first computer it vanished only to return as some other sort of beast (the PC), I decided and committed to boycott this beast.....I wanted nothing to do with it though it was sometimes forced upon me in keyboard class.....blech....logos....

And then like the Phoenix rising from her ashes I began to see the apples.....the forbidden fruits (: the keys to health......the gate to knowledge. I began to struggle with my boycott, the world was going to the Internet and I was feeling left behind. I needed it now for job searches and applications....my best friend was growing weary of sending my emails for me and managing my account....that she insisted on starting. Bless her heart.


I decided I needed to learn to send email on my own. I began compiling money because if I was going to go onto the information highway I was packing an apple for lunch. This was a big step the macs were the pricier laptops (did I mention I like to be on the move a lot?)but it was the best product and I'm only interested in the best. Thanks Steve.

I bought my first laptop, an iBook G4 on February 13 so that I could wake up next to it on Valentine's Day. My world was forever changed. I love my Mac. I paid cash for it. 

Yesterday I went to the Apple store on Prince street to buy a replacement battery that I desperately needed to write on the road again.....alas, the "genius" informed me there were none in the store and they have been discontinued..... I was heartbroken. I felt forced to scrounge up another 2k just to stay afloat......I need my apple.....

I need it everyday. I felt sad. I felt betrayed. I thought how nice if apple could have sent me an email stating the intended discontinuation. I began to seethe Steve ..... Apple has my email. I even bought the warranty....I was loyal and I wanted more communication in this relationship...... 

My phone rang. It was a closer. He asked me out and yet I felt despondent...... Thankfully he went on amazon and assured me I just saved money.... Cheer up . Relax.

But still I thought of Steve. How could he do this to me?

I met the Closer and we had a nice evening watched some awesome Epic South Park that had me on the floor lmao (:   And then the news.....which I never watch but the Closer insists on....Steve Jobs dead at 56. Wow. 

Steve had other things on his mind besides my battery.....I was reminded that Steve had stepped down sending the stock diving a while back. I expect the stock to be a shit show today as well but that aside, the spirit of apple lives on. Steve lives on like .....well, like nothing before. He was a trailblazer. He humanized apple bringing it to the level of family pet...(not exactly but you missed the depression I spiraled into two years ago when my Mac screen went black, thank goodness for warranties).

Today I don't feel forced to by a new MacBook. Today I feel inspired. It's an amazing product. And I choose to appreciate the Leadership of Mr.Jobs. Steve Jobs revolutionized leadership at the executive level. Thank you Steve, and good night.

Do you know your ABC's....?.......Always Be Closing

Coffee is for closers.

Always be closing

always

be

closing

I love men. I do. But there are a few of you that seem to enjoy sitting around with your fingers up your ass instead of closing.

I don't want to talk on the phone. I don't want to talk all night.
I don't want to hear your anxiety without a view of your hot body, nice shoes, or sexy smile. My mere presence can put most people at ease...in person.But on the phone?

Not so much.

I'm the type of girl that's comfortable with silences and without eye contact you may interpret that to mean I'm not interested, engaged, or listening.

Please don't text me repeatedly without a plan.

In fact, if you want a date don't text me at all.

Instead pick up the fucking phone and close.

Close me.

Don't say "what's up".

Do not say "what's new".....trust me on this one.

And if you can help it, don't make small talk as it does little for you.

Tell me what you want.

You want to see me?

You want to take me to dinner?

Lunch?

State your business. If you're afaraid of getting my voicemail(which you likely will)
leave a fucking MESSAGE.

I am screening your voice.

I am screening your pitch.

I am making sure you're not calling to make "small talk".

Because that's what it is; small TALK.

On a budget? You want to grab a cup of coffee?

Tough shit.

Coffee

is

for

closers.

why erika awakening is nothing more than the tiger mom i never had

If you want to see the only woman to date I might be crushing on, click the the title of this post because the link is live.....

 Otherwise, hang out while I gripe about my life coach :)

I love her. I can't stand her. She knows her value and I know her value.....Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away Erika Awakening was on sale. 

These days are no more.

I kick myself almost daily for not booking sessions with her when her hourly rate was a measly $100.

I was too busy spending that money on filling my lungs with cigarettes....but that's another post.

Well, now you can't get her time for less than the cost of a high-end call girl.....The good news is that a session with her is going to be more productive than a session with a typical sex worker......as in you will transform. 

As a buyer I can't stand that money is the issue but as a fellow healer I respect her for charging no less than an escort.....I mean, why is something so fleeting like sex with a stranger worth more than reigniting your soul and becoming the man or woman you've been too scared to believe you could be?

There are watches and purses that cost more than sessions with erika......everything is relative.

Erika and I don't see eye to eye on everything....she moves too fast. She wants results NOW. I like procrastinating.....or at least I did.....

The title of the post is an affiliate link she provided, I'm betting on this stock to go up. I bet when you're done gnashing your teeth you are going to want to get in on the action. Her videos are pretty entertaining and they do create movement, shifts and change but only if you're ready to be a co-creator of your world.

Human Nature

This would be the
 About Me: part of the program.
the Dangerous tour. In the making

I love Michael Jackson, the artist
So much so, I effort to spell his name
legitimately....out of reverence.
By bringing forth his personal brand of genius,
he is curating a compassion in me that pours into the world
as a mystical romance with the inner christ consciousness in every
one.
sounds like;
Namaste
or at least that's what I'm going for
.....in theory

happy birthday Michael
thank you
here's to the man in the mirror

Rumi Love

Settling in bed
Coupled up
3 tomes of rumi
On a lazy afternoon
Full.
Our presence n lightening
Me.

Kisses
Jane

1-800-BAD-DRUG

Okay, so I'm watching T.V. I could give you a song and dance about how rare that is but I'm going to skip that and push past my ego. *fingers crossed*

The telephone number in the Title of this post is real. It was advertised by a law firm in the Greater New York area as a means of help if you took an antidepressant during pregnancy.
I think the Title says it all here and I'll skip the details. I don't remember the name of the law firm and I'm not familiar with any of their services. What I noticed is....


Women are taking "Bad Drugs" during pregnancy.

Holy Crap.

I remember taking Wellbutrin, a very popular antidepressant. It was touted as the "quit smoking" drug.I deliberated for a week and searched the internet for info. I went against my personal policy of NEVER accepting prescriptions of the antidepressant variety and I felt
as though my life imploded after taking it only a few times. This took less than 72 hours. Fortunately I decided to stop taking it thereby saving myself, my life, my
relationships............and wasting
one hundred dollars.
What Crap

I wish I could get a refund. Do they ever issue refunds?

No thanks to Wellbutrin and 100% credit to EFT:

I have since quit smoking for over a year now.

Is monogamy death?

I've almost consistently enjoyed the taste of freedom. Freedom to talk to whom I pleased, when I pleased, about what I pleased. Lovers called me "flirty", which felt only slightly accurate. I have an easy rapport with strangers whether they be models, grandmas, puppies, or the cleaning lady.....chat we will :) until.....I get into a relationship of the exclusive variety, the sort that promises to equally deprive the other of bodily fluids belonging to "others" amongst other things that are not only forbidden by the church but my current "captor" as well.
In the beginning.....I don't feel "deprived". I feel ....watched. I feel observed, evaluated. If I am walking with a "lover" and see someone of interest I don't stop to chat. I modify my behavior....I become somehow less.......personable. I dim my light, the inner one I like to shine on random passerby. I make sure my eyes don't linger or lock onto anyone or anything in case that "thing" is attached to any one. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I have an almost uncanny resemblance to Angelina Jolie. What does that mean? It means that I spend a lot of energy averting my eyes and not sending ANY signals, lest I draw too many gazes which might lead to chatting which....well might be construed as "flirting". I'd like to add that sometimes people are just curious about why I look the way I do...but I do my duty to my "exclusive" status and shut down....unless, I'm alone :) then I'm chatting up everyone about everything but mostly hope. I like chatting about hope and light. I talk about the silver lining, the light at the end of the tunnel, the bright side :) these are my favorite topics of conversation. People love me and appreciate me and thank me. I've provided a service to my community that I don't fully participate in when I am "exclusive". Most of my peforming is for the current man in my life and involves some element of appearing chaste or in a glass case; on display but most certainly untouchable.....rendering parts of me, dead.
These are the unspoken rules of engagement. Perhaps if I negotiated different agreements I would feel entirely vibrant but alas how do I communicate with the male ego that my "flirting" is a service to mankind? How do I convey the accidental healing of hearts and traumas that occurs in my light? I am told of limits to expression and appropriateness. I am told the motives of others are not "safe". But how do I tell of a Grace that has walked beside me and inspired in spite of another's agenda?
I saw a little smoke on the horizon of my "exclusive" relationship. I don't know if there's fire. What I do know is....I am less interested in the transgressions of a lover as I am interested in the missed opportunities for Grace to work through me and for me. Have I hidden my light under a bushel for nought? And who is to blame but I, who has so gingerly lived to preserve another's ego from feeling attacked? Why have I defended these little deaths and do I have the wherewithal to accept the betrayal? Is it true where there's smoke, there's fire? No. But if a betrayal has occurred it started with me, against me, by me. Can I forgive myself? I hope so, I intend it. . . . .
as Dylan Thomas writes: "and death shall have no dominion."

Take it Personal

Lesson 135
“If I defend myself I am attacked.”

Who would defend himself unless he thought he was attacked, that the attack is real, and that his own defence can save himself? And herein lies the folly of defence; it gives illusions full reality, and then attempts to handle them as real. It adds illusions to illusions, thus making correction doubly difficult.

And it is this you do when you attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organize the present as you wish. You operate from the belief you must protect yourself from what is happening, because it must contain what threatens you. A sense of threat is an acknowledgment of an inherent weakness; a belief that there is danger which has power to call on you to make appropriate defence.

The world is based on this insane belief. And all its structures, all its thoughts and doubts, its penalties and heavy armaments, its legal definitions and its codes, its ethics and its leaders and its gods, all serve but to preserve its sense of threat. For no-one walks the world in armature but must have terror striking at his heart.

Defence is frightening. It stems from fear, increasing fear as each defence is made. You think it offers safety. Yet it speaks of fear made real and terror justified. Is it not strange you do not pause to ask, as you elaborate your plans and make your armor thicker and your locks more tight, what you defend, and how, and against what?

Let us consider first what you defend. It must be something that is very weak and easily assaulted. It must be something made easy prey, unable to protect itself, and needing your defence. What but the body has such frailty that constant care and watchful, deep concern is needful to protect its little life? What but the body falters and must fail to serve the Son of God as worthy host?

Yet it is not the body that can fear, nor be a thing to fear. It has no need but those which you assign to it. It needs no complicated structures of defence, no health-inducing medicine, no care and no concern at all. Defend its life, or give it gifts to make it beautiful or walls to make it safe, and you but say your home is open to the thief of time, corruptible and crumbling, so unsafe it must be guarded with your very life.

Is not this picture fearful? Can you be at peace with such a concept of your home? Yet what endowed the body with the right to serve you thus except your own belief? It is your mind which gave the body all the functions that you see in it, and set its value far beyond a little pile of dust and water. Who would make defence of something that he recognized as this?

The body is in need of no defence. This cannot be too often emphasized. It will be strong and healthy if the mind does not abuse it by assigning it to roles it cannot fill, to purposes beyond its scope, and to exalted aims which it cannot accomplish. Such attempts, ridiculous yet deeply cherished, are the sources for the many mad attacks you make upon it. For it seems to fail your hopes, your needs, your values and your dreams.

The “self ” that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defence, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?

Defend the body and you have attacked your mind. For you have seen in it the faults, the weaknesses, the limits and the lacks from which you think the body must be saved. You will not see the mind as separate from bodily conditions. And you will impose upon the body all the pain that comes from the conception of the mind as limited and fragile, and apart from other minds and separate from its Source.

These are the thoughts in need of healing, and the body will respond with health when they have been corrected and replaced with truth. This is the body’s only real defence. Yet is this where you look for its defence? You offer it protection of a kind from which it gains no benefit at all, but merely adds to your distress of mind. You do not heal, but merely take away the hope of healing, for you fail to see where hope must lie if it be meaningful.

A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans which it receives through listening to Wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfill the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal which serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.

A healed mind is relieved from the belief that it must plan, although it cannot know the outcome which is best, the means by which it is achieved, nor how to recognize the problem that the plan is made to solve. It must misuse the body in its plans until it recognizes this is so. But when it has accepted this as true, then is it healed, and lets the body go.

Enslavement of the body to the plans the unhealed mind sets up to save itself must make the body sick. It is not free to be a means of helping in a plan which far exceeds its own protection, and which needs its service for a little while. In this capacity is health assured. For everything the mind employs for this will function flawlessly, and with the strength that has been given it and cannot fail.

It is, perhaps, not easy to perceive that self-initiated plans are but defenses, with the purpose all of them were made to realize. They are the means by which a frightened mind would undertake its own protection at the cost of truth. This is not difficult to realize in some forms which these self-deceptions take, for the denial of reality is very obvious. Yet planning is not often recognized as a defence.

The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think that it will be provided for unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rests on the idea the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course.

The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change. What it has learned before becomes the basis for its future goals. Its past experience directs its choice of what will happen. And it does not see that here and now is everything it needs to guarantee a future quite unlike the past, without a continuity of any old ideas and sick beliefs. Anticipation plays no part at all, for present confidence directs the way.

Defenses are the plans you undertake to make against the truth. Their aim is to select what you approve, and disregard what you consider incompatible with your beliefs of your reality. Yet what remains is meaningless indeed. For it is your reality which is the “threat” that your defenses would attack, obscure, and take apart and crucify.

What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything which happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal life.

Your present trust in Him is the defence which promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy which constantly increases as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth that only your defenses would conceal.

Without defenses, you become a light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born. Your followers will join their light with yours, and it will be increased until the world is lighted up with joy. And gladly will our brothers lay aside their cumbersome defenses which availed them nothing, and could only terrify.

We will anticipate that time today with present confidence, for this is part of what was planned for us. We will be sure that everything we need is given us for our accomplishment of this today. We make no plans for how it will be done, but realize that our defencelessness is all that is required for the truth to dawn upon our minds with certainty.

For fifteen minutes twice today we rest from senseless planning, and from every thought which blocks the truth from entering our minds. Today we will receive instead of plan, that we may give instead of organize. And we are given truly, as we say:

“If I defend myself I am attacked.
But in defencelessness I will be strong,
And I will learn what my defenses hide.”

Nothing but that. If there are plans to make, you will be told of them. They may not be the plans you thought were needed, nor indeed the answers to the problems which you thought confronted you. But they are answers to another kind of question, which remains unanswered yet in need of answering until the Answer comes to you at last.

All your defenses have been aimed at not receiving what you will receive today. And in the light and joy of simple truth, you will but wonder why you ever thought that you must be defended from release. Heaven asks nothing. It is hell that makes extravagant demands for sacrifice. You give up nothing in these times today when undefended you present yourself to your Creator as you really are.

He has remembered you. Today we will remember Him. For this is Easter time in your salvation. And you rise again from what was seeming death and hopelessness. Now is the light of hope reborn in you, for now you come without defence to learn the part for you within the plan of God. What little plans or magical beliefs can still have value, when you have received your function from the Voice of God Himself?

Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you can not conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without your planning. Learn today. And all the world will take this giant stride, and celebrate your Easter time with you. Throughout the day, as foolish little things appear to raise defensiveness in you and tempt you to engage in weaving plans, remind yourself this is a special day for learning, and acknowledge it with this:

“This is my Easter time. And I would keep
It holy. I will not defend myself,
Because the Son of God needs no defence
Against the truth of his Reality.”


ACIM

Elizabeth Lesser: Take "the Other" to lunch | Video on TED.com

Elizabeth Lesser: Take "the Other" to lunch | Video on TED.com

Mary Roach: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm | Video on TED.com

Mary Roach: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm | Video on TED.com

Lesson 129 "Beyond this world there is a world I want"

 .....Did I just quit my day job?

Forgiveness is the key to happiness

                   

Lesson 121“Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness.”

Here is the answer to your search for peace. Here is the key to meaning in a world which seems to make no sense. Here is the way to safety in apparent dangers which appear to threaten you at every turn, and bring uncertainty to all your hopes of ever finding quietness and peace. Here are all questions answered; here the end of all uncertainty ensured at last.

The unforgiving mind is full of fear, and offers love no room to be itself; no place where it can spread its wings in peace, and soar above the turmoil of the world. The unforgiving mind is sad, without the hope of respite and release from pain. It suffers and abides in misery, peering about in darkness, seeing not, yet certain of the danger lurking there.

The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees, afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified at the approach of light.

What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation? What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real? The unforgiving mind sees no mistakes, but only sins. It looks upon the world with sightless eyes, and shrieks as it beholds its own projections rising to attack its miserable parody of life. It wants to live, yet wishes it were dead. It wants forgiveness, yet it sees no hope. It wants escape, yet can conceive of none because it sees the sinful everywhere.

The unforgiving mind is in despair, without the prospect of a future which can offer anything but more despair. Yet it regards its judgement of the world as irreversible, and does not see it has condemned itself to this despair. It thinks it cannot change, for what it sees bears witness that its judgement is correct. It does not ask, because it thinks it knows. It does not question, certain it is right.

Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in a mind, which cannot sin. As sin was an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, who represents the other Self in you. Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. Thus you return your mind as one to Him who is your Self, and who can never sin.

Each unforgiving mind presents you with an opportunity to teach your own how to forgive itself. Each one awaits release from hell through you, and turns to you imploringly for Heaven here and now. It has no hope, but you become its hope. And as its hope, do you become your own. The unforgiving mind must learn through your forgiveness that it has been saved from hell. And as you teach salvation, you will learn.

Yet all your teaching and your learning will be not of you, but of the Teacher Who was given you to show the way to you. Today we practice learning to forgive. If you are willing, you can learn today to take the key to happiness, and use it on your own behalf. We will devote ten minutes in the morning, and at night another ten, to learning how to give forgiveness and receive forgiveness too.

The unforgiving mind does not believe that giving and receiving are the same. Yet we will try to learn today that they are one through practicing forgiving toward one whom you think of as an enemy and one whom you consider as a friend. And as you learn to see them both as one, we will extend the lesson to ourselves, and see that their escape included ours.

Begin the longer practice periods by thinking of someone you do not like, who seems to irritate you, or to cause regret in you if you should meet him; one you actively despise, or merely try to overlook. It does not matter what the form your anger takes. You probably have chosen him already. He will do.

Now close your eyes and see him in your mind, and look at him a while. Try to perceive some light in him somewhere; a little gleam which you had never noticed. Try to find some little spark of brightness shining through the ugly picture which you hold of him. Look at this picture until you see a light somewhere within it, and then try to let this light extend until it covers him, and makes the picture beautiful and good.

Look at this changed perception for a while, and turn your mind to one you call a friend. Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former “enemy” to him. Perceive him now as more than friend to you, for in that light his holiness shows you your savior, saved and saving, healed and whole. Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your “enemy” and Friend unite in blessing you with what you gave. Now are you one with them, and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself.

Do not forget, throughout the day, the role forgiveness plays in bringing happiness to every unforgiving mind, with yours among them. Every hour tell yourself:

“Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
I will awaken from the dream that I
Am mortal, fallible, and full of sin,
And know I am the perfect Son of God.”

ACIM

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do, and how we can do it better

EFT Alleviates Sinus Problems

EFT Alleviates Sinus Problems

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved

Caroline Myss, Energetics of Healing Vol1 7of 10

...........from one of the masters

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

A. Einstein

Happy New Year

......and a wonderful year it is.